Craniosacral therapy for my son

Originally posted at my other blog, Crunchy-Chewy Mama.

I don't claim to understand exactly what craniosacral therapy (CST) does, but I believe in it. I've read some books by Dr. John Upledger, and I've talked a whole lot with my practitioners about my body and my son's body.

And I've seen its results firsthand.

I've been getting CST for six years, since I first started pursuing alternative therapies, which ended up including diagnoses of celiac disease and autoimmune thyroid disorder en route to dealing with infertility.

I learned about the therapy through my sister and her work with her son, who is on the autism spectrum. CST has been immensely powerful for me, helping me to let go of a whole lot of energy I'd been holding onto, which caused physical and emotional problems. (For more, see my article in the Winter 2008/2009 issue of the Journal of Attachment Parenting).

I had my craniosacral therapist there at my son's birth, which was supposed to be all-natural in a birth center but instead was a c-section due to my baby's breech position and extremely short umbilical cord (see my poem about that in Exhale magazine). So instead, the therapist videotaped the birth, which gave her great insight into how to treat my son hours later. "There's a lot of unwinding in his hips," she said; I later learned breech babies sometimes need to wear harnesses because of their in-utero position (hip dysplaysia).

My son is now 3.5 years old. I schedule CST for him every few months, when it seems like he's just kind of off or working on something I don't know how to address. I'm so grateful that she's been seeing him since he was an infant -- really since even before he was born.

A few months ago I asked the therapist what might have been different if he hadn't been seeing her. I trust her with my life. She does tell some people they don't need to come back. She's never said that to me. "It's hard to tell. Maybe speech or other development issues. Maybe ADD or sensory integration problems."

I've had several different practitioners work on him, and they all say the same things about tight parietal bones and jaw intensity. Lately, E has been chewing on his shirt in a way that disturbs me. A lot of kids have oral fixations, but this one is causing my son's skin to be chapped, and, well, it just looks like an anxious reaction. So I made an appointment.

Usually she just plays with him on the floor with toys while they work in a gentle way. The appointment lasts a full hour. Today, after a while, she invited him up to the table, where she tucked him in. It was the first time I'd ever seen him laid down like a patient. It was a little freaky, but he looked so nurtured and cared for in the soft glow of the massage center room.

She said her recent sensory disorder training recommends letting kids follow their interest/obsession while they are getting treatment. So she did. He chewed on a toy and then, when she felt a big release, he was done with the mouthing and just sort of flopped into relaxation.

After seeing him so manic and wound up recently, it was a real gift to see him so calm under her hands. She explained some other physical things and gave me more ideas for ways to work with his particular needs, including broad and heavy strokes on his body and heavy weight on his legs in front of him, and offering him straws and other mouthing options. Her questions about other behaviors -- "does he seem to need to run full boar into things?" -- seemed so spot on. He's never gotten any kind of diagnosis, and I don't understand all the ins and outs of sensory integration issues and proprioception. But I do feel very good that I have this therapist on my team.

She said that it felt like a phase but like there was also an emotional component that was not yet resolved. His neck and chest were pouring off heat, she said.

I left a little poorer but more resolved to model and live the grounding, solidifying presence he and I both shun but deeply crave.

For more information on CST and children, see "Craniosacral Therapy and Scientific Research, Part II" by John Upledger, DO, OMM. The website for the Upledger Institute is pan style="font-weight:bold;">http://upledger.com/. Find practitioners at http://www.iahp.com/

Balancing action with rest

I had a fabulous week last week of attending three (partial) days of the NVIC conference and then all day of "Perinatal: A Symposium on Birth and Reproductive Rights." But now, instead of volunteering at the Holistic Moms Network table at the Green Festival, I'm home with a slight fever. I don't feel that bad, but I'm taking the advice of the health gurus I saw at NVIC that when the body is responding to too much stimulus, you need to give it a rest. Plus it wouldn't be very nice if the germ theory is really true and I get other people sick while I'm talking to them about holistic health!

It's humbling to be side-lined, but I guess I shouldn't be surprised that my body went on strike after such little sleep (and some sugar). I ate pretty well, packing in all my food and not buying anything other than a decaf, and I've been good about immune-boosting supplements and tonics, but it still was a stressful week. Now I've got all day to roll a new batch of chicken stock (and catch up on laundry).

I might not have paid as much attention to my own health as I needed to if my son hadn't been having a really hard time this morning. He is only a little stuffy and doesn't seem feverish, but he was really weepy, which prompted me to go up and take my own temp. After one dose of pulsatilla, he seems to be doing better -- less weepy and less surprisingly changeable in his moods. I need to buy a homeopathic kit so we have everything on site.

For more on the birth symposium, see my other blogs Crunchy-Chewy Mama on a woman being threatened with a court-ordered c-section instead of what would be a second VBAC and Mama's Mouth on art as activism.

Helping children with aggression

"But he showed remorse," said my kind friend when I called her crying to apologize that my son had bitten hers at school. "What more could you want?"

Um, for him to not do it at all?

Really, what I want is for my son not to feel that kind of out-of-control anger. I know he's three and a half and that some socially inappropriate behavior is, well, developmentally appropriate. But I also know that when he went through a similar phase two years ago, some body work and energy work really seemed to help.

And I know that as someone who suffered from undiagnosed depression all through my childhood, it's no fun to feel unhappy inside. Although medication helped through a few dark periods in my adulthood, it's become crystal clear to me that what has made the most profound difference has been a combination of non-drug remedies: a gluten-free, casein-free diet; regular exercise and yoga; and body work and energy work, including acupuncture, chiropractic and craniosacral therapy (CST).

So when my son had a biting episode a few weeks back for the first time (a 12-hour playdate is a rough thing for overtired cousins inhabiting a small space on a rainy cold day), I made an appointment with the acupuncturist who saw us when he had an ear infection months ago. While I waited the three weeks before that opening, I also got him in for CST work, which I though was probably more useful for him (lasting a full hour) but is twice as expensive as the acupuncturist who works with kids.

The acupuncture was scheduled for Friday at the end of the first week of school. E seemed to enjoy school fine and had none of the crying some other kids did upon leaving their moms for the first time. But on Tuesday, the second day, he did bite the arm of his friend, G, in what was probably a tussle over a toy. "It might have been provoked," the teacher said, having not seen the lead-up. But I was deeply troubled.

My kid is nice. He's usually patient and kind. When he does physical stuff, something seems like it's just not right inside. That's an awful feeling, and I don't want him to have it. To me, the biting is a symptom. Maybe he's feeding off of my stress. Maybe it's partly the change of season, as the acupuncturist suggested. Maybe it's that we've been trying some dairy in his diet, and maybe it doesn't agree with him any more than it does with me.

What I do know is that he and I both had a nice day Friday and a pretty mellow weekend after a week of volatility and meltdowns. All the doctor did was use a little roller on a few spots and then put little acupressure stickers on his ears, hands and feet. Thinking we might try needles on him next time, she did a demo on me with a quick insertion to two points that address the kidney meridian and fear. "You'll have a good day, too," she nodded to me.

And I did. Within a few hours, the sense of urgency and crisis was gone. My son and I had a lovely time together. We'll see if he can hold onto that calm through today, the first day of the second week of school.

Stress is something to let go of, too

I'd hoped that this spring season would find me happily detoxing away. I made a good start nutritionally, and I did the one dramatic foot soak. But I haven't gotten much beyond that.

We have been planning to move but had to do some unexpected negotiation after the home we want to buy got a lower appraisal than anyone expected, which put us in decision-limbo for a few days. Then we decided to move forward but still have had to prep our house to sell, which we're trying to do by ourselves to save money (and because it's been done successfully in our neighborhood several times). My husband has been between consulting gigs, so it seemed like we ought to do as much ourselves as possible since neither of us was really earning any money, and we will still be writing a huge check for the new home in a few weeks, employment or no.

But we're finding that this FSBO business takes a lot of time and requires a lot of decisions -- not as many as an addition would have, but still. I have enjoyed doing some of it -- taking the photos, prepping the house. But there are so many questions and so much unknown, I'm getting to an I-can't-take-it place. I am healthy when I take care of myself, and I'm not when I don't. Add to that the money concerns that have totally tabled any extra detox and body wellness protocols I'd hoped to do this spring. If LJ's expected new job starts up on Wednesday as we hope it will, I'm picking up the phone to get some appointments scheduled. Because I have to admit I need help to really be in the healthy zone -- and if I get too far out of that zone, it will not look pretty. I can feel my thyroid reminding me that it didn't heal on its own; it had a lot of help from my positive thinking and all the advice I got. The idea of trying for another child is, as far as I'm concerned, completely off the table until my body is not a walking stress-bomb.

And if tomorrow's open house comes and goes with no serious interest logged by the time LJ goes back to work, I think we are going to have to hire an agent or the money we save by eventually selling on our own is going to by out-paced by my medical bills.

Planting seeds of unknown future

So, we might be moving - nearby, but still. A move is a move. It's hugely exciting to think of having a house that works better for our family, but it means I'm not sure what to do about planting anything. I don't want to invest in creating a big raised bed (a la Square Foot Gardening) if we're going to be having to show our current house in the next month. Even if we didn't mind the look, could we move the garden to the new place? I don't think I'm up for the investment of time with so much else going on.

Still, I want to have my son see things come to life, so we'll at least do some container gardening again. We started some seeds a few weeks ago, and I decided to try some more after transplanting what I had. After a ton of rain the next day, I'm pretty sure we'll be starting over from scratch and hope the next batch of seeds take off in the yogurt cups as well as the first ones did. Not sure if these efforts will yield anything, but at least we're digging in the dirt and creating green.

Birthday happenings

Our birthday celebration this year was to have a bunch of friends over just to play on a Monday morning. It was a little too crowded (too cold to go outside), but it was nice. I did get balloons, but all the food was pretty natural/low-processed -- fruit, kale chips (baked kale), rice pasta with veggies, a few bags of Terra and veggie chips, hummus & veggies and my friend's homemade dosas -- soaked rice & lentil pancakes (she added shredded coconut this time, and they were a big hit!). The spread was almost all gluten-free and dairy-free (just some pita for the hummus). I'll share about the cake another time, but the images I like best were from the Waldorf-y aspects.

We only gave my son three gifts (which I don't think he would have missed after all the gifts from grandparents and the playdate, balloons and dinner out at the Afghan restaurant he requested to go to). The gifts were just two Melissa & Doug puzzles and an outfit for his Waldorf doll, a gift last year, from Joy's Waldorf Dolls. I wrapped them in plain paper and painted watercolors on them -- numbers, his name, balloons. And I placed them on a rainbow silk I got a long time ago from A Toy Garden. His response upon coming in the door after dinner was wide eyes and "ooh, look at that!" I was so excited that he responded to the natural looking stuff with as much or more wonder as he respond to the UPS truck and the stuff it brings!

I also liked the birthday ring I got for him at Nova Naturals. I just learned that Wooden Wagon has a lot more choices, but I like what we did this year, and he seemed to, too. Thanks to my friend Paula for the lovely centerpiece!

Dropping some silver on supplements

I just spent $132 at the Vitamin Shoppe. Wow. My husband has an eardrum that has been ruptured for over 48 hours and still hurts a lot. I bought some tea, colloidal silver supplement and nasal spray, grapefruit seed extract ear drops and nasal spray, some probiotic (on sale), calendula tincture (seemed like a good idea) and some more homepathic remedies (including something that my son grabbed because it came with a little Curious George pouch - even the alternative stuff markets to kids! He's been sick, too, so I cut him some slack, especially after he agreeably put several items back on the shelves and since he'd been whining a whole lot before we got into the car).

When I first went on my Save-My-Adrenals-and-Thyroid health kick starting in early 2004, I spent that kind of coin on capsules often. A lot was at the Vitamin Shoppe, where you get little coupons every so often if you spend a lot, and I also shopped at Village Green Apothecary in Bethesda, where they carry brands usually only practitioners have but at a better price. Since my thyroid has stabilized and my nutrition is so much improved, I haven't been as much of a supplement junkie. And certainly in this economy with a one-income family, I'm usually more reserved before throwing $25 bottles of dried mushrooms into my basket (my sister-in-law swears that one helped her). But since the hubby isn't of a mind to get energy work and is still in a lot of pain, he told me to get "whatever looks good." After a week at home with my sick son, who was on a nursing binge to fight his fever (which also turned into an ear infection), I was ready to jack up the credit card for our health at the supplement store (and I already have with craniosacral therapy and an acupunturist who used some cute little tools on my boy to open his meridians and did a few needles on me when I mentioned his clinginess. It always comes back to me!)

Considering a possible run for reconception, I'm also thinking that it's probably time for me to actually see a doctor -- a holistic-minded one for sure, and preferably one who starts with some energy work, but someone who can make sure I'm in a safe place to possibly go forward with trying for a bigger family. That will cost a pretty penny, too, I'm sure!

When needs diverge

I am being pulled in opposing directions. Now, my wanting to do several things at once is not a new thing, I freely admit. However, I was starting to feel good about the idea of going to bed early in order to get up early and do yoga or work out and write before my son got up for the day. If I get up at 5:00, I figured, (something I did regularly while teaching high school), I can do 20 minutes of yoga practice at home and then write until he comes downstairs with his dad at 7:00. We'll get him used to sleeping or at least resting until 6:30, and then he can play quietly in his room or in the hallway while LJ showers and gets dressed. Or, on alternate days, I will write for just a short bit and then go to the gym to return at 7:15, when LJ has started breakfast but is about to be needing to leave for work.

Either way, I thought, I will feel refreshed from an early bedtime, exercise, centering and creative expression. Surely this will make me more than ready to face a day of focusing on my son when we're together -- being fully present with him. And on the days I do have some childcare, I'll be more on-task for having gotten some ideas down on paper already. I'll either be able to move ahead on that or work on work or leadership for the moms group I'm starting.

That sounds lovely, but I'm feeling like it just ain't gonna happen, not without a few rough days of habit change. Why? Because my son is no longer sleeping soundly through the night on his own or in his own room. He paddles into our bed sometimes as early as midnight. Sometimes he just snuggles in, but other times he tries asking to nurse first. I tell him it's sleepy time, not morning yet, and he usually complies, especially if I have some almond/coconut milk ready for him to drink. But when he wakes at 4:00 and I say no to nursing, he sometimes gets pissed. He whines, telling me "No!" and wriggling his hand back up or down my shirt. This also happens on occasion when I cut him off from the allowed post-5:00 feeding(s). I essentially feel like I'm done with my night's sleep at 4:00, and that is just too early even if I were getting to bed by 9:00. In fact, on New Year's Eve, I stayed reading on the couch when my husband took him up to bed, and for some reason that image would not let the boy rest without his mama. So we all went to bed together early that night. And 4:00 still felt just plain wrong.

Yet I never fell back under solidly, and he wanted access to the bar at 5:00 and 6:00, and then he was just up and wanting us all to be up for the day. That is now becoming the norm: he whines, "I'm hungry! I want to go downstairs!" He used to be willing to go play in his room for a bit, maybe bring in a doll or some books to us, but now the suggestion that he amuse himself just upsets him more.

I don't know what we're going to do. Since my husband will probably not start his new job this week, I think I'm going to say we bite the bullet and I just leave the upstairs at 5:00 and let them deal with it. I've planted seeds of suggestion about this to the boy, which he ignores to ask some unrelated question that seems to be a cue he doesn't want to hear about whatever I'm saying. I am not in a hurry to wean for good before age three, but we may have to morning-wean or bed-wean. I don't know if he's just coming on like gangbusters now in a last-ditch effort to claim the goods before he drops them or what. We had been down to just morning and night until just after Thanksgiving (also just after I ovulated for only the fourth time since he was born); then he was asking around the clock for a few weeks. Since that period ended, he's tapered back to morning and night, sometimes before nap and only asking otherwise if he gets hurt or is just feeling needy. I ought to read more of How Weaning Happens and Mothering Your Nursing Toddler. My friend's 13-month-old just stopped on his own -- was crying when she'd try to feed him. I just can't imagine my boy ever wanting to stop. I wonder if there's something I'm contributing to that dynamic -- some need to be needed?

I would like to wean and cleanse before the summer, before considering trying for another child if that's what we decide to do. If we do go for #2, I would want my body to have some recovery time and to get to the healthiest possible state, which it clearly is not right now. Seeing as it took 29 months to get my first postpartum period, I want to be gentle with myself.

One other thought about the boy is to get serious about restarting remedies. Tonight I gave him Bach Flower Essences Impatiens and Vervain in addition to our first time trying Rescue Sleep -- and I could get him back to the craniosacral therapist and get us both into one of our healers who helped before. I also read in Peggy O'Mara's "A Quiet Place: Your Child's First Healer" in the new (Jan/Feb 2009) issue of Mothering magazine that the homeopathic remedy Nux Vomica is a go-to helper if you're waking at 3 or 4 a.m. If I don't find that I have any in my medicine chest, I think I will pick some up tomorrow and give it a try. And I will also call my pediatrician (a homeopath) to finally get in for an appointment!

Acupunture and Cupping for Tight Muscles

My neck and shoulders used to hurt all the time. Long before I was diagnosed with Graves' disease (autoimmune hyperthyroidism) or celiac disease, my health problems manifested in a more physical way. I've had some issues on and off since my son was born, especially when I was wearing him in a sling all day, but nothing was like my recent right-should spasm. I think we can blame this one in large part on one weekend of car trouble followed by another of plane travel (including wearing my 30-lb. toddler in the Ergo) and unfamiliar (and harder beds). Of course the lack of a regular home yoga practice followed by a few classes in a row in short succession might have something to do with it, too!

So I called the acupuncture center I used to go to. I love that they provide a back massage before doing the needles on the back side and then have you flip over so they can do some more massage (especially with the sinuses, but whatever part of the body needs it, too) before placing needles on the front. This is a two-hour ordeal but costs less than most 60-minute massages in my area.

I figured this time that they would want to use the suction cups because my shoulder was a rock. Cupping is supposed to help release tension and free up energy. It essentially feels like a bunch of extra people squeezing your muscles at once. The cups go to work while the therapist is massaging another area.

When I was seeing these folks back four years ago as part of my effort to heal my thyroid and regain my fertility, I was also getting treatments in an oxygen sauna. The sauna woman said I should not be bruising so much, and she claimed that one woman came in after getting cosmetic surgery for the express purpose of minimizing her bruising, and it did. As I got more regular acupuncture treatments and also got more oxygen sauna treatments, the bruising did indeed become much less severe and shorter-lived.

I saw these folks a few times a month when my son was a year old. My thyroid was threatening to go low, and I was exhausted from all the night nursing (and nursing around the clock!). When I made this most recent appointment, it had been many months since I'd been to the acupuncture clinic and maybe months since I'd had any bodywork of any kind (at least several weeks). With a lot of projects in the air and my toddler no longer napping, time has been a hot commodity! But I've felt pretty good physically, until the shoulder flared up. Or so I thought. My body has probably been storing up toxins from my late bedtimes and other unhealthy habits, so it was perhaps only a matter of time until something screamed at me to get me to pay attention.

The treatment felt good. The morning after the presidential election and its late-night results, it was easy to fall into a deep sleep once the needles were in. I asked both the assistant who did the bulk of the massage and the doctor who did some more before inserting the needles about the bruising and what it meant. They both said that someone in good health and with good energy will hardly bruise at all. People whose energy is weak or who are ill are the ones with the more purple, longer-lasting marks. The ones pictured here are much lighter than some rounds I've had, but they certainly followed me out of the office, and they're still there 36 hours later. The pain is not completely gone but is dramatically milder; I don't feel like that section of my body is ruling the rest of me as I did a few days ago.

The doctor put an herbal patch on my shoulder and told me to stretch more by pulling my arm across my body with the other arm. She could have also written a prescription for my son to resume sleeping through the night so that I don't join him on his hard futon!

Getting the Groove Back

Back in August, I sprained my ankle two weeks before I was going to run a half-marathon (what would have been my longest race). It's been a long recovery that I'll write about from various perspectives in the future. What I'm feeling good about right now is that I am starting to imagine exercise being not a struggle that is at odds with my parenting.

I've had a hard time feeling totally okay with taking time to exercise and focus on my body even though I know it makes me more grounded, happier, more centered, more patient... in short, a better mom, partner, friend. Some moms I know just do it without a second thought and go about their business, and other moms act like they couldn't imagine running a mile or leaving their kids in childcare at a gym. I haven't felt comfortable on either end or in the middle.

After having had early and intense separation anxiety, my 25-month-old son has recently started to do fine at neighbors' houses for short babysitting, especially when there's another kid around. I decided that if I was going to pay for this gym membership, I had to start using their childcare. It's small, safe and fun. I watched EJ the first time on the video monitor and he did fine for the 30 minutes I spent on the treadmill. The time I tried an hour-long yoga class wasn't so great. I kept looking over and saw the childcare worker holding him, and before sivasana, I saw he was crying at the door, so I did my own quick corpse pose early and left before everyone else settled in. That was a few months ago, and I hadn't tried again, instead fitting in exercise around other times I had childcare at home, usually from my husband.

Last week the gym held a mommy and me yoga class and then a mother's day tea party after. EJ enjoyed playing with the big exercise balls and eating the (GF, homemade) cookies I brought for him and the fruit the gym provided. The experience seems like it might have accomplished my goal of setting a positive association in his head about the place.

This week, I jogged him down to the gym and told him we were going to play with Cassie for a few minutes and then come home. We did, and he found some toys that whetted his appetite, but we stuck to our plan and left together. Later that day, he was asking for Cassie, so I told him he'd see her the next day while I went to a yoga class. It seemed like I finally got in my head that this really could be okay -- we were both going to get something good out of the experience. He'd get to see some kids and play with new toys, and I'd get Zen. Or something.

My now-running-again legs were happy for the attention, and I realized how out of practice I am on my mat. On my run today, I spent some time thinking about working trips to the gym into our schedule more regularly. It just needs to be something we do rather than the thing that only happens if everything else aligns just perfectly. I don't need to apologize for caring about my body. If I want my son to grow up making his own health a priority, he needs to see his parents do the same.

Sleep is not an adversary

When I decided to undertake a cleanse and make some changes in my diet, I also set out to change my sleeping habits.

My natural tendency has always been that of a night owl, even when, as now, I've been without caffeine. For the past several months, I had been in the habit of staying up until almost 2:00 a.m. to write, clean, cook, prepare for the next day. I loved how quiet the house was and hated to abandon my free time to head up to bed. This worked for a while because I was also spending part or most of my son's naptime asleep and because my son would wake to nurse around 1:30 or 2:00 a.m. So I essentially stayed up until he started to fuss, and then I would charge upstairs, nurse him and get the oxytocin boost to help me fall asleep. Going to bed any earlier seemed inefficient because my mind was whirring with all the things I could be doing, and I was just waiting for him to wake up before I could really go under. It didn't seem reasonable to try to get to bed before 10:30 p.m. since I was tutoring many nights until 10:00 p.m. and needed considerable wind-down time once I got home.

All these rationalizations aside, I know that there are many health benefits to an earlier bedtime. The adrenals need to rest and repair themselves so that the body is not constantly in high-alert, fight-or-flight mode. Cortisol spikes at the wrong time of day can negatively impact the nervous system. The liver and gallbladder supposedly flush out toxins in the late evening, and they aren't effective at doing so if the body is in an alert state.

There was also the matter of feeling robbed if I spent all of my son's nap sleeping next to him instead of getting some time for myself or a head-start on dinner. Being in a super-dark room during the middle of the day was disorienting. I wanted my afternoons back, but getting through the day without a nap was tough if I'd only slept 2:30-6:30 a.m.!

I had hoped to start going to bed by 11:30 (some naturopathic doctors say 9:00 is a good target, others 10:30 at the latest, and I've also read that sleep before midnight is significantly more restorative than sleep after midnight). However, I did not approach this goal with the same commitment as I approached my diet changes. I merely thought to myself, "It would be nice to get my bike fixed up and try to go to the gym for their 6:00 a.m. yoga class twice a week." A month later, the bike is finally out of the shed and in the trunk of the car, but I haven't gotten it to the shop for a much-needed professional tune-up. I could be rising early to do yoga on my own, as I did when I was a teacher (getting up at 5:00 instead of 5:30 a.m.), but I'm not.

I can't quite get myself to give up all my late-night solo time. I have, however, been more successful at staying awake when I put my son down or just dozing with him for part of his nap and then shooting for going to bed before midnight unless there's a real pressing need to finish something. The one morning I woke surprisingly alert at 5:45 a.m.. The persistent rain of the previous few days had abated, and the fresh spring air and early morning glow through the window were sweet. Having run 10 miles the previous day, it was a delight to have some time on my yoga mat. When my son awoke about 6:10, I went upstairs to nurse him in bed in case he might be able to fall back asleep. But he was ready to be up for the day. Having already gotten centered, I was happy to enjoy reading books on the couch with him without rushing around in a flurry to get breakfast started. With such an early and gentle start, the day seemed much longer and less hurried, and I was ready to go to bed at 10:45, even though I tutored until 10 p.m.

I'm hopeful that if I take a gentle but consistent approach with my bedtime, I can scale it back to a more reasonable hour and eventually (depending on my son's nursing habits) rise before anyone else is up and get in some yoga or some writing.